AskDoach

The whole concept of this blog is around the concept of a parent coach.   It's interesting, but most of the time in these conversations we draw a clear line between one or the other.  How to be a great coach in this tough situation, or how to be a respectful parent in this one while still supporting our child.  But for those of us in the coach role, there is no line.  We are both.  Whether we're a Mom or Dad or Aunt or Brother, we are both coach and family to someone on this team (and just as important, to family members beyond this team).  And we've made the choice to lead this team, but there are times when the choice, and the constant sacrifices it requires weigh heavy.  I sat talking to a friend this weekend whom I know to be a very dedicated coach.  He was struggling with the challenge where he's joined his team into a tournament for a weekend he knew there might be conflicts, but you never know how the scheduling will play out.  Turns out that a week ahead the d

Yes, recognize greatness even against your squad.  And no, this is not a simple "be a good sport" encouragement.  This is an actual strategy.  Play out the scenario a couple of ways.  You're at the soccer pitch watching your team losing.  You're feeling your competitive frustration growing and they strike again.  An offensive player against you just weaves right past your midfielder, then left around one defender, then right again seemingly right through your sweeper and then simply chips it past  your goalie as they go to the ground.  Your options are: Drop your clipboard, spin away from the field, raise your eyes to the sky and mutter a few choice words of frustration to yourself before turning back to the field and start yelling corrections out to your squad. Yell, WOW!  Did you see that!!??  Yes, be excited (for love of the game, not of falling another point behind).  Admire the ball handling skill of your opponent and turn to your bench immediately rehashing

Had a great question come into my eMail.  What's the hardest thing about coaching your own kids?  Whether boy or girl being coached, Mom or Dad doing the coaching, we tend to do it out of a couple of primary drivers.  One, we have so much love for our kids that we want to spend this time around them and Two, we are competitive in nature ourselves and it's another outlet for us to feed that beast.  When coaching kids we need to remember that this time... this team is theirs.  We're the coach, but the team is theirs.  The wins are theirs, the losses are theirs, and we're lucky enough to share in the fun. The two drivers above tend to collide right on top of our child.  While we coach the whole team, I always found that even if it was just a constant flow of well intended advice or corrections, we often "over-coach" our own.  My daughter was a pitcher and thus I found myself sitting on a bucket some 40 feet away from her every inning, spewing coaching wisdom.